Overcoming Sexual Addictions

Cure for Sexual Addictions?

Sexual addiction questions:

” I still can’t stop”

Dear Counselor: If you could offer me any advice on how to conquer sexual addiction, I would be most grateful. I am on medication.
I am seeing a psychologist & psychiatrist….I still can’t stop.
I have almost been arrested..I still can’t stop. I am going to die if I don’t stop soon.
Please Help… Signed: Hopeless and Helpless

Answer: Dear Friend:
In order to stop a sexual addiction or any kind of addiction.. the first thing you need to do is turn to God for help and surrender yourself to Him. Surely, you also need counseling and a 12-step recovery group.
Are you a homosexual? You can contact Exodus to get help to overcome homosexuality at: 1-206-784-7799 or Homosexuals Anonymous . Or you can contact Overcomers Outreach to get help for sexual addictions at 1-800-310-3001; 1-714-491-3000; 1-601- 844-5128; Email: mailto:outreach@casr.org.
Believe me- many people have overcome sexual addictions. You can too! No one is hopeless and helpless! No one is beyond God’s help!

Yes, you are struggling with an addictive behavior pattern but also you are dealing with several unresolved issues which are causing you pain and so you continue in your addiction in order to avoid dealing with the real issues. Perhaps you have been a victim of abuse yourself and you may suffer from low self-esteem. You probably have felt far from God and feel a spiritual emptiness. Pascal wrote: “there is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man”. You are looking to fill the emptiness you sense within but this addictive behavior never satisfies you- instead it will destroy you as you stated in your email. You may have experienced many losses and hurtful experiences in the past which are difficult to face and work through and because of this and many other reasons you suffer from depression.
You have difficulty relating to people and look for relationship fulfillment through sexual activity but instead you end up feeling guilty, hopeless and depressed.

I implore you to get help. You do need counseling and a support group. I recommend that you try contacting a professional Christian counselor for further consultation. Please contact AACC for a referral to a professional in your area.

You also need to attend a good Bible church so you can learn more about Jesus Christ and how He can help you overcome this lifestyle. Begin reading the gospel of John in the New Testament in order to learn more about Jesus and how He can help you. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you as you read it. He is ready to forgive you and change your life.
Jesus said in the following scriptures:

  • Luke 15:7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
  • Matt 9:10-13 “While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and “sinners” came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?”
    On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a
    doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
  • John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son…. that whoever believes in Him will have eternal life.”
  • John 10:10 Jesus said, “I have come to give you life and to give it more abundantly.”
  • John 14:6 Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me.”
  • Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
  • 1 Timothy 1:15 “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners– of whom I am the worst.”

As you can see from these passages- Jesus welcomes sinners and asks them/you to come to Him for forgiveness and cleansing and relationship. St. Paul, one of the writers of the New Testament, an apostle of Christ, called himself the “worst of all sinners”. He actually helped to kill Christians before He turned his life over to Christ himself. You can come to Christ today ! He will change your life as He did St. Paul’s!
And read the Bible … if you do not have one- I will be happy to mail one to you…. just send me your mailing address.

Read more on the underlying issues and interventions for sexual addictions and here are some resources for:
Sexual addiction:
Overcomers Outreach, Inc: 1-800-310-3001; 1-714-491-3000, Anaheim, CA
Pure Intimacy: addressing online sexual temptation. A Focus on the Family resource.
Homosexual Recovery:
Exodus International: 1-206-784-7799
Homosexuals Anonymous

Then read the articles on self-esteem and guilt and how Christians can deal with guilt and shame. This will provide you with understanding about how God can help you overcome the issues which are underlying this self-destructive activity.
Check out Willowcreek’s site for a referral to a church near you and to contact a pastor you can pray with as well.

I hope this is helpful for you. Please let me know how you are doing.

Curing Sexual Addictions

Sexual addiction: “What is the cure?”

Dear Counselor,
I am a teen who is troubled by multiple sexual temptations and activities. What solutions are there for me??? Is this “sexual addiction” ??? What is the cause? and What is the cure??

– Anna

Answer: Dear Anna,

Thank you for writing. Obviously, there are no easy answers for sexual addiction. I would say that underneath the drive and lust is a deep thirst. A seemingly unquenchable thirst for something to satisfy, something to take away pain, something to bring excitement. That might not make sense, but in any addiction there is emotional pain that needs numbing, a psychological and physiological need for a high, and a deep spiritual thirst for answers to life and relationship with God. You are looking for answers to your deedpest needs in all the wrong places.

In the Bible, Jeremiah 2:13 God says, “My people have committed two sins: they have turned from Me the living water and dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold no water.” Who quenches the deep thirst for something satisfying in life? Only God. People try to fill that thirst with everything but God and they dig trenches, bigger, longer and wider, trying the same things that don’t work, don’t quench their thirst. Jesus said in John 6:35 “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.”(NIV) and in John 6:51 “I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”(NIV) So you have fallen into a trap and gotten hooked physically in addictions and the temptation gets so great that you need supernatural help to escape. You need to begin with God.

When a person trusts Christ as their Lord and Savior, he or she can be set free because Jesus says in John 8:36 “if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (NIV) and in John 10:10 “I have come to give you life and give it more abundantly.” Jesus sets people free and answers the pain in their lives….where am I going when I die and what am I living for on this earth? He also gives power to overcome the temptations and the addiction when a person surrenders his or her life to Him. People need spiritual change from the inside out.

Here are some steps to help set you free from sexual addiction:

  1. Finding Freedom in Christ: Start by learning who Jesus is and what He can do to set you free from this sin/addiction by reading the Gospel of John in the New Testament. I would be happy to send you one if you do not have it. Freedom from any bad habit or addiction comes when you begin a relationship with Christ. Scriptures say:
    Jesus said, “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Luke 4:18-19
    It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Gal 5:1
    Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:34-37 NIV
    Jesus wants a personal relationship with you. It is through Him and His power that you will ultimately find true freedom from and victory over this addiction. Finding Freedom through counseling and support: You can truly benefit from counseling and 12-step support groups. Through counseling and support groups you can to discover what is underlying this issue for you, how to prevent it and overcome it. What needs are you trying to fill? How can you resist this temptation and start living a healthier, happier life?
  2. Finding Freedom through counseling and support: You can truly benefit from counseling and 12-step support groups. Through counseling and support groups you can to discover what is underlying this issue for you, how to prevent it and overcome it. What needs are you trying to fill? How can you resist this temptation and start living a healthier, happier life?

Sexual addiction:
Welcome to Pure Life Ministries
Faithful and True Recovery Groups

Teens: Christian Answers for Teens
His Mansion: 1-603-464-5555 personnel@hismansion.com
Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-Hit-Home
Overcomers Outreach, Inc: 1-800-310-3001; 1-714-491-3000, Anaheim, CA
Pure Intimacy: addressing online sexual temptation. A Focus on the Family resource.

Homosexual Recovery:
Exodus International: 1-206-784-7799
Homosexuals Anonymous
Look for more help through 12-steps support groups and counseling in your location. A therapist can help the family members approach the person by using a “family intervention”. Please contact AACC for a referral to a professional in your area in the Christian Care Network
But nothing takes the place of fervent prayer for this teen’s spiritual condition. I hope this is helpful for you.

God bless you!

© copyright 2004 by Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC