- Home
- Child Abuse
- How to Help Abused Grandchildren?
How to Help Abused Grandchildren?
- By Lynette Hoy
- Published 11/22/2008
- Child Abuse
-
Rating:
Question: Our family is in crisis. Our grandchildren are being raised in a non-christian home where there is a great deal of dysfunction, including emotional and verbal abuse. What advice would you give to us as grandparents? We feel we need to be involved however do not want to cause more conflict and risk being barred from seeing our grandchidren. Do you offer some type of conseling online or can you recommend reading materials that would help us? We are desperate.
Answer:
Dear Friend, Thanks so much for writing.
Answer:
Dear Friend, Thanks so much for writing.
It's difficult as a grandparent to see your grandchildren suffering from emotional/verbal abuse because you are unable to intervene.
I suggest that you make yourself available to baby/kid-sit whenever there is an opportunity. This will give you time to build a good relationship with your grandchildren and give them time to open up about what is happening at home. Though verbal/emotional abuse is truly abusive - it is difficult to provide obvious evidence of this abuse to the authorities.
On the other hand, if the children indicate to you that there has been physical or sexual abuse - you will need to report it to the Child Protective Services in your State.
You may fear the repercussions of such reporting but, the safety of your grandchildren is your highest priority and you can ask to keep your name anonymous.
Read this article on Understanding and Preventing Child abuse.
HOW TO REPORT SUSPECTED CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT
If you suspect that a child is being abused or neglected, the Dept. of Child and Family Services at (800) 252-2873
Each State has jurisdiction over these matters, and has specific laws and procedures for reporting and investigating.
In some States, all citizens are mandated reporters by State law and must report any suspicion of child abuse or neglect.
Childhelp® USA National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD®
In the meantime you may want to receive guidance and counseling. We here at CounselCare Connection, P.C. offer online/phone counseling
May I also suggest that you do whatever you can to build your relationship with the parents (your adult child and spouse). This may take some effort and patience on your part since they may be abusive towards you and they may be abusing drugs or alcohol. Often, child abuse is the result of substance abuse by the parents.
If you can build your relationship - you may be able to gently confront them to get help for the substance abuse. It's difficult to do this but, with the Lord's help - He can give you the wisdom you need. If there is substance abuse you should learn all you can about addiction and codependency. Here's another helpful article about handling an Adult Daughter's Poor Choices.
Let us know if you would like counseling. If you want to see a professional in your area - check out the list of Christian counselors at: www.aacc.net
God bless you!
Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC
© copyright 2008 by Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC
© copyright 2008 by Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Spread The Word
Article Series
This article is part 1 of a 3 part series. Other articles in this series are shown below:
-
How to Help Abused Grandchildren?
Related Articles
Comments
Comment #1 (Posted by kimberly jowers)
Rating:
i am in desperate help for my granddaughter. whe calls me mom. She was with me and my husband for 4 years of her life. only 6 now. her mother is a very abuseive, neglecting, and pathological liar (regarding any abuse) telling my granddaughter to lie about the injury. my husband and i still have her on our insurance since we have raised her for 4 years. this mother did not want anything to do with her. she now abuses her, and live in a trash house and the step father belts hers. i have taken her to dr. several times and i have medical records. this child is very mature for 6 and would'nt know what to say about several things if it didn't happen to her. she want to come live me and her grandfather. we are the only and closest relatives she has that in more like mom and dad. our son and the mother never each other. they each are married to someone else and they each are expecting a second child. neither couple can financially support themselves because they both live with inlaws with kids. this child wants to live with her grandparents. she cant handle all the abuse and anger, and neglect. pls. help.
Comment #2 (Posted by Lynette J. Hoy)
Rating:
Dear Friend, the best resources for dealing with this matter are Child Protective Services. You need to report any incidents immediately to them. I would recommend obtaining some professional legal advice regarding the next steps in trying to obtain guardianship of your grandchild. This is a very difficult situation and you should learn how you can provide long-term protection for this child. Seek legal advice from an attorney who specializes in family law.
God bless, Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Comment #3 (Posted by B. Wilson)
Rating:
My daughter has bipolar disorder and refuses to take meds for it. She is extremely emotionally abusive to her two sons (one of the way, also) She has also been physically abusive the older one(4 yrs old). Most of her anger is toward the older one. She has been reported to DCS several times and nothing ever happens. They give her a week to two week warning before they come and she has her normally filthy house clean, her normally dirty kids clean and has programmed the older to say what she wants them to say. I have been to the police several times, even a child advocacy center and no will help them. She recently cornered the 4 yr.old at my moms and told him over and over that she hates him. Then he came out of the room and told my mom she had hit him in the head. I am beyond heart broken. Besides the dept. I have already tried...what else can I do? i know in my heart that eventually, she will kill the 4 yr. old. It will happen.
Answer:
Dear Friend, we can recommend that you keep reporting the problems to DCS. Also, we would recommend you find a counselor and attorney to discuss this with since the threat of harm is so serious. You may consider discussing your concerns with local police. Also, you might consider filing for guardianship of the children since your daughter has been hospitalized for bipolar and it is not under control. See an attorney who specializes in child abuse, neglect law.
Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC