You will experience some of the following symptoms:
shock, sadness, crying; changes in life & roles & responsibilities; fears about the future, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, anxiety, loneliness, confusion, yearning.
Difficulties with faith, socialization and maintaining normal activities for a time.
anorexia, somatic distress, fatigue, guilt, anger, hostility, The normal of stages: shock, protest, disorganization, reorganization.
“After a significant loss many people have the sense they are going crazy, particularly if they have not sustained a major loss before.”
Though one experiences the phases of grief he/she is not a helpless victim. There are tasks which a person can actually work through whether he/she has been through the death of someone close, a divorce, or been victimized through abuse or crisis.
The following 4 phases of grieving must be worked through and it will take a period of time to do it:
Shock vs. reality; Protest vs. experience; Disorganization vs. adjustment: Attachment vs. reorganization.
Facing the loss with God's help, placing our hope in Christ, our Savior and experiencing the feelings and work of grief promotes healing.
When should someone get help or counseling? When he/she does not accept reality of loss: When one gets stuck in the past or doesn’t develop coping skills; withdraws from world, and/or becomes increasingly helpless. It is time to get professional help when depression sets in:
When one manifests Major Depression Symptoms:
*over 2 week period.
...lengthy depressed mood
...decreased interest or pleasure in most activities
...significant weight loss or weight gain
...insomnia or hypersomnia
...fatigue or loss of energy ...worthlessness or excessive/ inappropriate guilt
...difficulties thinking/ concentrating, indecisiveness nearly every day.
...negativity
..thoughts of death/suicide*
*If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, get immediate help by getting a professional counseling referral through your family physician or the American Association of Christian Counselors or the National Board or Certified Counselors.
© 2007 Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Read more about Understanding and Coping with Grief.
Lynette Hoy
Lynette J. Hoy is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the State of Illinois. She is credentialed by the NBCC as a National Certified Counselor (NCC) and has been granted the credential: Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor by the International Board of Christian Counselors. Lynette is designated by the National Anger Management Association as an Anger Management Supervisor, Consultant, Diplomate and Certified Anger Management Specialist-1V. She has co-authored three editions of the book: What's Good About Anger? , the Expanded 16 Lesson Workbook and authored various workbooks and training manuals. She provides anger and conflict management classes, certificate courses and seminars. Mrs. Hoy successfully completed the Domestic Violence 40-Hour Training program. She has written the Safe Relationships & domestic abuse resources with a Christian perspective for victims. She was on staff at Calvary Memorial Church in Oak Park as Director of LifeCare Ministries for 9 years. Lynette is a Critical Incident Stress Management provider and a crisis counselor with the Crisis Care Network providing counseling and debriefing to various companies. Contact Lynette at: 1-630-368-1880, ext. 1.
Mrs. Hoy counsels adults, adolescents, children and couples dealing with grief, depression, self-esteem, domestic abuse, eating disorders, anxiety, sexual abuse, divorce, anger, crisis, conflict, stress, spiritual, marriage, family and relationship issues.
Lynette holds a Master's Degree in Community & Family Counseling from Northeastern Illinois University and a Bachelor of Science degree in Nursing from North Park College. Mrs. Hoy's education also includes studies in Theology and Christian counseling from Emmaus Bible College. Lynette has been a speaker for Rapha, American Association of Christian Counselors, Evangelical Child & Family Agency, Channel 38, professional, women's and community groups and churches. She has published various articles in AACC publications, the Women Today and Godly Business Woman magazines.
Lynette presents seminars & workshops on Anger, Stress, Depression, Grief, Assertiveness, Women's issues/topics, and Divorce Recovery. She co-presents the Anger Management Institute Trainer-Specialist Workshops. Lynette and her husband, David, an Attorney, are trained instructors for PREP's "Fighting for Your Marriage" seminars. Lynette is a member in good standing with NBCC, AACC, ICA, IMHCA and NAMA professional counseling and anger management organizations. Lynette and David have one adult married daughter, Colleen, who is a Law partner with her father in their Oak Brook, IL Law Office.
It is Lynette's desire to live for Christ and to share the wonderful news of the gospel: that through faith in Jesus Christ people can know for certain their sins are forgiven, they are going to heaven and discover new meaning, hope and help for their lives right now! Lynette is the President and co-founder of CounselCare Connection, P.C. with Steve Yeschek, LCSW & the founder of the Anger Management Institute. Dr. Bedell is the Clinical Director of the Anger Management Institute and CounselCare Connection, P.C.