Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce

Life as a single, divorced person is not directionless, purposeless or hopeless. Why? Because God is not surprised by your divorce and has not turned His back on you. Just reflect on these scriptures:

God has plans for you: “I know the plans I have for you” Jere 29:11 (NIV)

God will strengthen you. “Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God”? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isa 40:27-31 (NIV)

You can know God personally and discover His plan for you when you trust Jesus Christ as your Savior, ask for forgiveness of your sins and to become Lord of your life. Scriptures say: “If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Rom 10:9 (NIV)

God will help you persevere and mature. There are life lessons you can learn from this experience of divorce. The Bible says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4 (NIV)
Not only can you learn how to grow in faith and perseverance through this trial of divorce – but, you can learn to also:
1) take care of yourself,
2) develop your self-esteem,
3) find support through healthy relationships,
4) take on new responsibilities and goals,
5) develop better skills and discernment in relationships.

Dr. Larry Crabb eloquently states the goal of Christian maturity this way: “Christ wants us to face reality as it is, including all the fears, hurts, resentments, and self-protective motives we work hard to keep out of sight, and to emerge as changed people. Not pretenders. Not perfect. But more able to deeply love because we’re more aware of His love.”

You can experience contentment through Christ. Scripture says: “I have learned to be content in everything…..” I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be
content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Phil 4:11-13 (NIV)

You can anticipate the future and trust God after your divorce.
You will find this book very helpful providing hope for your future:
Growing Through Divorce by Jim Smoke.
Learn about assertiveness,  and managing anger at the What’s Good About Anger Institute!

©copyright 2007 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC