Many people are experiencing feelings of grief due to the loss of a loved one, friend, divorce, loss of a pet or significant other.Also, many are dealing with grief due to political and world upheaval, loss of a job or personal failure.
What is grief? Because of a loss, crisis, trauma or negative change in your life, you experience pain and upheaval in your emotions, instability, sadness, frustration, and emptiness.

Grief encompasses a number of changes. It appears differently at different times and it flits in and out of your life. It is a natural, normal, predictable and expected reaction. It is not an abnormal response. In fact, just the opposite is true. The absence of grief is abnormal. Grief is your own personal experience. Your loss does not have to be accepted or validated by others for you to experience and express grief.
Why grief? Why do we have to go through this experience? What is the Purpose?

Grief responses express basically 4 things.

1. Through grief you express your protest at the loss as well as your desire to change what happened and have it not be true.
2. Through grief you express your feeling about your loss.
3. Through grief you express the effects you have experienced from the devastating impact of the loss.
4. Through grief you learn to experience God more deeply. Through grief you can learn to “seek first His Kingdom” and take a different path in life…as He directs your steps. Proverbs 3:5-6

The purpose of grieving over your loss is to take you beyond these reactions to face your loss and work on adapting to it.

The overall purpose of grief is to bring you to the point of making necessary changes so you can live with the loss in a healthy way. It’s a matter of beginning with the question, “why? Why did this happen to me?” And eventually moving to a new question, “How can I learn through this experience? How can I now go on with my life?” When the “How?” question replaces the “Why?” question you have started to live with the reality of the loss. “Why?” questions reflect a search for meaning and purpose in loss. “How?” questions reflect your searching for ways to adjust to the loss.
What do you have to do to get to this point? “So do not fear for I am with you…do not be dismayed…for I am you God…I will strengthen you and help you…I will hold you up with my righteous right hand.” Isa. J41:10

“Relying on God has to begin all over again everyday as if nothing had ever been done.” C.S.Lewis

Trusting, relying on God, casting ourselves & cares on Him (1 Pet. 5:7) precedes any formula we follow.
“You must learn that God is ultimately the answer to your grief. God has suffered. And that Christ can provide the power to live. So relying on Christ, knowing and experiencing His forgiveness and grace will surely give you the grace and strength to go on with your life and let go of the hurt & loss you have suffered.”

How have you learned to rely on God?
“Life Goes On” and so can you. Your life has been shaken but “You must gain custody of yourself.” (Tony Evans)

Grieving is a process. Grieving can take various shapes, but it should not Overwhelm your life so that you cannot function. If, you are despairing, crying, depressed much of the time-Be sure to see a counselor or medical doctor for an assessment. You could be suffering from clinical depression. Depression can be a part of grief, but you can work through it. For Christians, we have great hope in Jesus Christ! He can give us the power to see our lives differently. He can give us hope for the future and help for the present! If you would like the book “An Anchor for the Soul”  by Pastor Ray Pritchard contact:  Lynettehoy@gmail.com for a free copy.

If you Are suffering from a mental health crisis and live in the United States of America, you can call 988 for some free guidance. If you are feeling suicidal and are having thoughts of harming yourself, please call 911.

Read more about Grief and Loss here.

©copyright 2025 Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC, CAMS-V